2020—20/20PERFECT VISION TOUR

Author: Paul Kumer

 
 

June 5-12, 2020

$141,012 raised for the Sylvester (1:1 Match)

We funded a Pediatric Brain Tumor Project for 2 years.

The story of 2020 is still being processed as how can such a global phenomenon be succinctly packaged and sent on its way?  During this time there were a multitude of heroic stories capturing herculean efforts that emerged during these strange and difficult times.  Unlike the heroic stories of 2020 that will be immortalized in film and print, the following story about a group of sea-hippie kayakers and their antics may never grace the silver screen but the story will be immortalized in this small, distant space of the internet.  


May 29, 2020

A Message to the Castaways

“Just so you know something so small as a name affiliated with that had my mother in tears. Which I can't express my gratitude enough for. Thank you so much for doing that. That made both of our days. I really really appreciate it.”

Also on May 29, 2020…

Peggy & Joe, our Happy Hour Road Crew,  travels to Tank Brewery to pick 15 cases of Tank Beer: The Official Beer of the Castaways.  Thank you Victory Castro for the continued support and your efforts to keep the team hydrated.  

June 5, 2020

In the morning, Pino and Mendo drove down to Florida Bay Outfitters (one of the longest-running Castaway sponsors) to pick up the tandem.  They returned safely to Pino’s house with the vessel.  Speaking of returns, Patrick returned to Miami via airplane from New Jersey.

Later in the day, the Castaways gathered at Captain Pino’s house for the Captain’s meeting; some Castaways were missing: Greg was home in Orlando, Suzy was home in Marathon, and Kari arrived later in the evening with her mother Diane as they drove down from North Carolina.  Time was spent reviewing maps that weren’t reviewed or consulted again during the trip.  However, the exercise does provide for excellent social media content.  During the meeting items such as safety and team, Covid protocols were reviewed while eating moros, vaca frita, and platano maduros from Havana Harry’s as well as consuming the occasional Tank beer.  Most of the meetings focused on team Covid protocols, water safety, and logistics especially the details for the Opening and Closing Ceremonies (we were mostly instructed on where and when we could misbehave).

At times during the meeting, equipment was exchanged (Craig “Pylon” Engler donated a VHF to the Castaways) and as the tour progressed “exchanging” equipment - in its many permutations - appeared to be a recurring theme.  In addition to the exchange of equipment, rides were coordinated - lots of moving parts.  For example, Pylon only stayed on for the first three days while Greg “Rainman” Trainor stayed on for the last five days.

When all the pertinent details were discussed and summarily dismissed, the remainder of the night consisted of sharing stories of previous tours with emphasis placed on how unpleasant the first two days were of the No Surrender Tour...eventually we will learn to keep our mouths shut.

June 7th, Sunday - Day 1

With the various changes that occurred leading up to the Perfect Vision Tour - Pino as Captain, CAC as a non-profit, and CAC’s new relationship with the University of Miami’s Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center - what would be the harm in another major change, or two?  This year’s tour launched on Sunday and due to Covid restrictions leading to the closure of Castaway Beach the Castaways launched under the cover of darkness from Matheson Hammock Park.  This covert mission meant few attendees to send off the Castaways and quick goodbyes in the process.

From Matheson, the Castaways paddled the opposite direction heading north to Dinner Key for the inaugural Breakfast with the Castaways: A Digital Launch Celebration.  

As the Castaways approached the island, Tom Kruzcek (new President of Columbus), Lou “el Toro” de Aguilera, Frigo aka “the Vaca Cut Fairy”, and others warmly welcomed the paddlers ashore.  

With cameras rolling/streaming, the opening prayer was said followed by Pino saying a few words as well as introducing a streaming video of Dr. Nimer of Sylvester commending the efforts of the Castaways and Castaway supporters.  Moving away from the American Cancer Society was not an easy decision and definitely not a move made without a heavy heart; however, the current relationship with the University of Miami has proven fruitful in the Castaways’ mission.

The inaugural Breakfast with the Castaways was a success; a supporter even called in to wish the team well.  Well...not exactly.  Dr. Garcia - official team cardiologist? - interrupted the festivities to reprimand OB for considering the notion of paddling the remainder of Day 1 let alone to Key West.  The team laughed, Dr. Garcia grew angry, and OB panicked.  The trip was rounding out to be a success.

Before the team continued with the tour, Tom Kruzcek - already a strong supporter of the Castaway mission - officially kicked off the tour with the ceremonial opening stroke.  Morning shots of courage were passed around and the Perfect Vision Tour had kicked off.

From Dinner Key, the team headed back south toward Matheson: OB repeatedly stated this was bad luck.  As the team circled toward the south end of Dinner Key a strong headwind met the paddlers providing a hint of what was to come the remainder of the day (wind gusts north of 22mph as well as a strong current pushing against the group).

While back at Matheson, the plan was to drop off Suzy and continue south to Chicken Key.  Somehow the quick 5-minute break turned into an unplanned 20-minute break and the delays continued as a stowaway managed to procure a commission on the journey south to Chicken Key.  With the newly “acquired” slow-paced vessel in the ranks, the team was spread wide and thin.  While the majority of the team enjoyed the delicious sandwiches provided by Mercy Sellek (thank you Mercy the sandwiches are always a welcomed treat on Day 1) a member of the team stayed back with the stowaway.  The time gap between the first to land and the last paddler to land on Chicken Key was roughly an hour leading to an already extended break.  Making matters worse the team spent the hour on Chicken Key exposed to the hottest part of the day - the 1 pm weather readings had the heat index at 106.  With the strong winds and the hour-plus long exposure to the heat, OB took Dr. Garcia’s subtle recommendation to not continue.  Roger (the new Castaway and new Safety Officer) and Kumer escorted OB to Deering before meeting with the team as they continued south toward Black Point.

On to Black Point…

There was wind.  There was heat.  Time seemed to stop.  The pressing question was “how much farther?”  Every time Kumer looked at the GPS the distance seemed to...increase.

Overall, the team was in a rough spot until…

Somewhere north of Black Point in the shallows, Patrick spotted an object jutting from the sea: a baptismal fount.  With the team struggling to see straight, these “new” waters and this strange sight provided a much-needed reprieve as well as some much-needed levity.  Water was passed around - and in one instance literally passed - and the conversation began: could we abandon Frigo at Homestead Bayfront Park and just camp in the mangroves?

From the Baptismal Fount, the team stopped again just south of Black Point before finishing the last 6 miles of the day to Homestead Bayfront Park where they would make camp.

The final 6 miles of the day were grueling as the conditions remained the same sans the heat which dissipated as the sunset.  The team unofficially arrived at Homestead at 7:30 pm while the team officially arrived at 7:45 pm where Frigo frantically prepared dinner (the churrasco and other procurements were supplied by Prime Meats).  The now flustered Frigo was in no mood to deal with the somewhat delirious and most definitely salty Castaways, but a few laughs and several Tank beers provided the salve to soothe the day’s injuries and prepare for another day.

 June 7th, Monday - Day 2

Hope springs eternal…

With just over 5 miles cut from the typical Day 2 route (Elliott to Key Largo Marriott) as a result of the new Day 1 route (the 2021 tour will return to the traditional route), the Castaways had some pep in their steps as the morning began.  Scholer (who took the year off from paddling) and Ann met the team in the morning providing warm breakfast sandwiches and hot coffee while also hauling away the team’s camping gear.  Though a visible increase in the team’s morale, not everyone was moving quickly.  To help expedite the day, Pino and Kumer helped pack up Roger’s tent and gear delivering the goods to the bed of Scholer’s truck.

With bellies full and gear packed, the team set south for Card Point.  Unlike the previous day, the water was flat and the wind subdued leading to great conversation on the water (one of the perks of the trip).  The new route continued to provide new waters, but unlike day 1 the day 2 waters brought about new sights: a closer look to Turkey Point, limestone rock formations en route to Card Point.

Card Point is easily one of the top breakpoints on the trip.  The Castaways grab lunch and re-hydrate while soaking in Castaway Pool.  This year the stop had a little extra behind it mostly due to the easy stretch of paddling that preceded.  However, the break at Card Point always ends with some uneasiness knowing what lies ahead: Barnes Sound.

Before reaching Barnes Sound, the team crossed Card Sound reaching Steamboat Creek which provided an easy paddle before spilling into Barnes Sound.  The Castaways’ apprehension fell due to the calm serenity that befell Barnes Sound; the wind increased but gave the paddlers a push.  The waves also provided a push toward Jewfish Creek.  Crossing Barnes Sound was done quickly and efficiently without much issue providing time for some Tank beers at the mouth of Jewfish Creek.

Entering Jewfish Creek, the Castaways experienced an uptick in their spirits knowing that a warm shower and a soft bed awaited them at the Key Largo Marriott.  Being Roger’s first time on the trip, he struggled the first two days with overpacking his kayak and not monitoring his hydration, but divine intervention came in the form of a 65-year old curmudgeon at Gilbert’s.  With the afternoon sun in Roger’s eyes, he had difficulty making out the seraphimenal form approaching his kayak.  Reminiscent of Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam a celestial arm reached out to Roger and provided salvation by way of an ice-cold Coca-Cola.  With a subtle gesture, OB provided Roger as well as the team a much-needed jolt to finish the day.

Fueling the Castaways to the day’s end came in various forms such as the speeding boat whose passengers yelled “C-Pride” (a reoccurrence throughout this year’s trip).  Once at the shores of the Key Largo Marriott, the team found themselves in the company of Peggy and Joe who provided cold beers and snacks.  Unlike previous years, this landing was subdued as a result of Covid restrictions.  However, never to dwell on what could have been or what wasn’t the team took the opportunity to soak in the water and enjoy the cold beers followed by some pizza.  The day rounded out with some more beers and a few more laughs.  The troubled waters of Day 1 were behind and the welcoming waters of the Keys laid ahead.

Once kayaks were stripped and rooms procured, Mendo, Pino, Kari, Patrick, and Kumer joined OB in the pool and hot tub.  Achy bodies were eased with the warm water and one of the bottles of Flor de Cana.  As the night wound down, the Castaways said their goodbyes to Craig “Pylon” Engler and settled in for the evening.

June 8th, Tuesday (Day 3)

As the team gathered by the boats, Rainman (he spent the night at the Snapper Creek Service Plaza) joined the ranks as well as Suzy (she did not sleep at a Turnpike Service Plaza).  With the boats ready for the day, the team went to Gus’s Grille for breakfast.

With bellies full, the Castaways launched from the Key Largo Marriott and - once again - headed north but this time to Florida Bay Outfitters (FBO).  This slight trip north has been part of the Day 3 itinerary as a way to visit with longtime friends and supporters Frank and Monica.  During the 2019 No Surrender Tour, a new stop was added to the itinerary: The Caribbean Club.  A quick stop at FBO for hellos and needed gear followed up with another round of breakfast at the Caribbean Club (some have gone so far as to say they have the best mozzarella sticks in the Keys) has become a welcomed tradition to the trip.

From the Caribbean Club the Castaways navigated their way through the Dusenberries into Buttonwood Sound where they settled at the Salty Piece of Land for lunch.  These midday breaks offer opportunities for the paddlers to grab a snack, drink some fluids, and revel in stories of yesteryear.  

The jocularity continued once the team left the Salty Piece of Land.  Patrick suggested playing the name game and the following paddlers acquiesced: Jaime, Pino, Mendo, Greg “Rainman” Trainor, and Kumer.  As the game progressed, the rules of the game invariably changed to ranking said individuals along the Rainman “Haught” scale - this scale would remain a constant throughout the trip especially out of context.

With the name game completed, the team approached Toilet Seat Row (another of the Mt. Rushmore of stops during the trip).  Another change during the trip was the pomp and circumstance that typically occurs at Toilet Seat Row, and in its place was time spent sharing the legacy of the Castaways.  As drinks circulated, Patrick and Pino worked on opening the time capsule left in 2010.  Inside the time capsule was the manuscript Bob Linfors wrote, and as only Patrick could, Patrick read Bob’s words.  To ensure the inclusion of OB, who was back on land, Pino set up a facetime call.  With the old manuscript removed, a new manuscript was read and inserted into the new time capsule to be opened in 2030.

Points of clarification…

  1. The original 2020 manuscript has an obvious and unfortunate typo

  2. The time capsule was not attached to the toilet seat as it was left on Pino’s coffee table.  To make due, an expendable dry box was duct-taped to the back of the toilet seat (Kumer and Pino both brought duct tape on the trip but each of their rolls were ruined by saltwater).

  3. Points 1 and 2 were not the most egregious errors on this particular day.

From Toilet Seat Row, the Castaways made their way to Postcard Inn…

Somewhere between Toilet Seat Row and Postcard Inn Mendo’s phone dislodged itself from the secured placement on Mendo’s deck.  A search party was called consisting of Rainman, Pino, Roger, Jaime, Kumer, and the tandem (Kari and Mendo).  The equipment failure leading to the misplacement of Mendo’s phone was - once again - the least egregious error of this expedition.  As the search party sought high and low for Mendo’s phone, a bottle of rum was shared.  At some point, Pino got out of his kayak leading to a foot injury, Kumer swapped kayaks with Mendo, and more rum was consumed.  With Mendo - now in Kumer’s boat - and Roger heading back in the direction of Toilet Seat Row (quick note...there seems to have been a lot of paddling the same waters during this trip) the rest of the search party took it upon themselves to entertain themselves.  There is no better entertainment than OB.  With Pino on facetime with OB inexplicably safety horns blasted followed by Jaime’s “horn, horn, horn”; our standard operating procedure regarding air horn use needed to be fine-tuned...apparently.

As another long day drew to a close, the remaining Castaways made their way to the shores of Postcard Inn greeted by pizza and Tank beer.  We were now short of a rum bottle and Mendo’s phone.

June 9th, Wednesday (Day 4)

The start of day 4 saw the Castaways shaking off the ignominy of the prior day; luckily, the paddlers didn’t languish in the defeats, instead set sights on a new horizon.  To be honest, breakfast at Robbie’s was the morning goal and everything that came before and everything that would come later was paid little attention.

The staff at Robbie’s did a great job of ensuring the team could sit together and enjoy a delicious meal (Lobster Frittata with a Trashcan Bloody Mary for the win!).  Pictures were taken, Castaway shirts were dispersed, and bellies were fed; Robbie’s was only the beginning of another great day of the tour.

From Robbie’s, the Castaways made their way south towards Anne’s Beach settling at a sandbar off the shore.  While stretching their legs and rehydrating, visitors came with supplies.  Danny Alonso (aka Chiqui), Victor Castro of Tank beer, and Steve Frigo, the Vaca Cut Fairy, met the team and delivered Tank beers and pizza.  The stars aligned - again - for the paddlers after their pizza party off Anne’s Beach.  En route to Pete’s Paradise along the Long Key Viaduct the Castaways must battle against the strong current at Channel 2; this year the current pushed the paddlers to the other side which also provided for favorable conditions paddling the Long Key Viaduct.

With the favorable winds and currents, the team made it to Pete’s Paradise in great time which led to the yearly tradition of debating which shallow was the false pool and which shallow was actually Pete’s Paradise.  The team agreed the pool was after the second marker, but not immediately after but not too far either.  Eventually, the paddlers found a spot and agreed it wasn’t Pete’s Paradise.  The new location - now marked on the team’s GPS - has been anointed: Rainman’s Rendezvous.  

While on break, Richard came by to visit and also pick up Suzy.  As the team snacked on tuna and avocado, Roger took a nap in his kayak.  

The team ended the day at Gulfview Inn on Grassy Key.  One challenge remained - navigating the boat slip.  Typically, the boat slip is treacherous (some bruised heads over the years) due to the algae build-up.  This year the boat slip was cleared of the slippery algae and provided safe refuge.

With the boats ashore and stripped, the Castaways made their way to the pool where Peggy provided rum drinks and an assortment of meats and cheeses.  As the team soaked in the pool, Rainman performed surgery on Pino’s injured foot: the rum helped.

Peggy and Joe provided dinner: smoked fish and pulled pork.  Delicious.  The meal hit the spot, and with bellies fed the Castaways eased into the night.  With many paddlers back in their rooms, Patrick, Pino, Mendo, and Kumer smoked cigars and drank rum while watching the sun settle into the horizon.

June 10th, Thursday (Day 5)

As the team woke up, clouds moved in presenting a weather situation the team hadn’t had to deal with all week (minus day 1 the weather had been favorable).  Coffee and breakfast items were provided by Leigh Ann Card (keep an eye out in Marathon for Leigh Ann’s new culinary venture The Table).

With boats packed, the team hit the water heading toward Vaca Cut when the rain came.  Luckily, the clouds moved in quickly and the rain did not linger.

Similar to Channel 2 (Anne’s Beach), Vaca Cut presents some challenges, specifically the strong current that rushes from the Atlantic side into the Gulf side.  Some years the team is lucky and the current is slack, but this year the strong current pulled the paddlers quickly under the Vaca Cut bridge into the Atlantic.  The pull of the current was so strong that the team nearly missed the aerial goodies provided by the Vaca Cut Fairy.  The haul this year included the typical fare of cookies and icees as well as the Square Grouper, but a new item was added: Mendo’s phone (Frigo stopped over at the Mendoza household to pick up a spare phone from Mackayla).

From Vaca Cut, the team made their way to Sombrero Beach for lunch catered by the Stuffed Pig.  Richard Curry met the team offshore in his boat with OB who abandoned ship and came ashore to eat lunch with his sailors.  

As the team ate, discussion arose concerning strategies to implement for the crossing of the 7-Mile Bridge.  The team decided Patrick would take the lead with Pino and Kumer bringing up the rear to ensure a safe crossing.  The crossing provided the usual challenges - speeding boats, chop, and Moser Channel - but this year once again the wind and currents were in the paddlers favor.

After the 6-plus miles, the Castaways were met with another surprise.  Typically, the Castaways make their way to the outer areas of Molasses Key, but as Patrick approached Molasses he as well as the team was waved ashore (by way of Richard’s boat Richard and OB met the team on the island...OB lost Richard’s boat ladder).  Frank and Monica (former owners of FBO) own Molasses and have turned the island into a Keys version of Swiss Family Robinson.  As the paddlers beached their boats, they saw an island decorated with various shells and buoys as well as a few hammocks strung up on the buttonwood trees.  As the team left their boats and approached the opening in the island, they saw what Frank and Monica had created.  In the opening was a sitting area with shade.  The sitting area was an off-shoot of the living quarters, a large tent that was furnished with a bed and other items.  As the team settled, Frank and Monica offered rum and cokes (the cokes were in classic glass bottles) and vegan sandwiches (surprisingly delicious).  The couple took the team around the island showing the trails Frank and Monica created as well as the solar-powered shower (OB took advantage of the offer to rinse). 

Once the tours were done, and the sandwiches eaten the team had to address important business.  The time had come and Roger Dabdab had proven his worth.  Patrick led to pagan ritual and with grace from above Roger was baptized The Saint.  Pure of heart in a sea of heathens, Roger provides a modicum of sophistication and salvation.  His efforts before, during, and after the trip have continued to demonstrate his worth and value to the team; a valued addition to this collection of sea-hippies.

From Frank and Monica’s piece of paradise, the team headed to Bahia Honda to close the day.  The team was met by Don Bergeron; beers were shared and everyone soaked in the water before heading to the Hyatt.

Paddlers piled into various vehicles to make their way to the Marathon Hyatt.  Once checked in and showered, the team accompanied by Diane Linfors met for dinner at Lighthouse Grille.

June 11th, Friday (Day 6)

Due to Covid restrictions, the team did not eat breakfast in the lobby of the Hyatt.  The paddlers grabbed snacks where they could and hot coffee before heading to Bahia Honda to begin day 6.

From Bahia Honda, the team paddled along the waters toward Munson Island en route to the sandbar off Little Palm Island (once again they were closed this time due to Covid restrictions).

After lunch at the Little Palm sandbar, the team paddled across toward Monkey Key where typically another debate rages regarding where the preferred stop is located.  Due to the favorable winds and strong current, the debate was avoided as the crossing toward Monkey Key (which typically takes close to 2 hours) took just under an hour.  The decision was made - off toward Tarpon Creek.  The team arrived at the S-Bend just after 2 pm rather than the usual 4 pm arrival time...as OB would later say “only bad things could happen with such an early arrival.”  Truer words have never been spoken, but where was the ICE!?!  A fatal flaw in the planning for S-Bend was the remarkable shortage of ice and Tank beers, but hope was not lost because the Sugarloaf Lodge Tiki Bar would provide solace in a few hours.

The paddle toward Sugarloaf was easy with the favorable conditions.  To keep spirits high a bottle of Flor de Cana circulated among the various kayaks.

Leading the charge toward Sugarloaf was Suzy.  The team followed her to the dock with cheers, blaring air horns, and applause...Suzy is easily the toughest and coolest of the Castaways.

Once on land terrible news befell the Castaways...the Tiki Bar was closed and would not be serving drinks.  Peggy and Joe saved the day with their cooler ‘o-fun.  There was ice, beer and other refreshments.  The team ate their dinner and spent the waning hours of the day drinking, telling stories, and laughing.  The trip was rapidly coming to an end, and what a trip it had been.

June 12th, Saturday (Day 7)

With the rising sun came the realization that after a quick 18-mile paddle the tour would come to an end.  There were doubts prior to the trip if the 2020 Perfect Vision Tour would ever happen.  Discussions were had to plan contingencies, some as radical as paddling from Matheson to Elliott and back two or three times, others as mundane and not castaway-ish like a virtual paddle.  But through creativity and determination, the Castaways made it clear that nothing - not even a once in a 100-year global pandemic - would stand in their way to “light a candle instead of cursing the darkness.”

From Sugarloaf, the team paddles the waters of Turkey Basin, Waltz Key Basin, and Jewfish Basin on their way toward Cow Key Channel.  At the end of Cow Key Channel, the team took their final break of the trip at Castaway Bar.  During this last stretch of the paddle, Dr. Stephen Nimer (Director of Sylvester) gave Pino a call and shared his appreciation for the partnership that had been created.  The final push from Castaway Bar led the Castaways to Smathers Beach and into the welcoming arms of OB, friends, family, and loved ones...but mostly OB (interesting side note the Castaways were greeted by a few media outlets but none as important as @OnlyinDade which as OB aptly stated “gave us street cred”).

After the champagne was popped and the pictures were taken, the boats were stripped and strapped to vehicles.  The team made their way to the Barbary Beach House Hotel to rinse off and prepare for the Closing Ceremony (Rainman and the Saint made the return trip home).

Pino Editorial: Brief, but notable, note: Javier Hermida, CCHS history teacher, and 2 other buddies (Jesus Lopez & Erik Stabenau) cycled from Miami to Key West without any fanfare. Javi had been looking for a way to get involved with the CAC (had proposed hosting a basketball tournament) and last minute decided to take on this challenge. When he landed the team never even saw him. OB met him at 5 Guys, had a quick bite, and then Javi and his team/fam headed right back home. Epic achievement! This looks like it’s going to have legs for the Castaways to grow.

The Closing Ceremony provided an example of the creativity needed to pull off the 2020 Perfect Vision Tour.  The team gathered in a scattering-like pattern and Frigo instructed everyone to look as if they were strolling the boardwalk.  Then, once Patrick and Pino made the closing comments the flower ceremony would commence, but it would be done one-by-one covertly (due to Covid restrictions the beach officially closed at 4 pm).  All things considered, the ceremony was a rousing success and the 2020 Perfect Vision Tour came to a close.